The Three Tenors

Fred has been in the church choir longer than anyone can remember,
So they're all too embarrassed to ask if he's a bass or a tenor.
You see, Fred loves to sing; he loves it more than any singer I've heard,
But he has trouble with pitch, rhythm, tone, phrasing, and diction, and he often makes up
words.

Fred has an attendance record that would make Cal Ripken weep,
Though he missed one Sunday for a hip replacement, and twice he's fallen asleep.
He sings out with abandon, he sings with robust tone,
And when the rest of the choir finishes before he does, he accidentally sings alone.

They keep him in the back row, and try to bury him in the crowd,
But he just turns his hearing aid down, and sings out nice and loud.
The sopranos cringe and grimace, it is more than they can stand.
The altos look disgusted, as only an alto can.

He never is pretentious, he never asks for praise;
He never gets a solo, and for him that is okay.
He is getting up in years, so they figure his time is not long,
But so far he's lasted through five directors, and he's still going strong.

When it's time to make a joyful noise, that's not the time to critique your voice.
A hundred people will tell you that you can't sing,
But just ignore them, they're just jealous, they don't know anything.

The Bible says a lot about Jesus the man:
How he could heal a leper with a touch of his hand,
He could calm a raging storm, turn some water into wine,
And using mud, he gave sight to a man who'd been born blind.

He could preach, he could tell stories, he was good at many things,
But the Bible never tells us how well Jesus could sing.
If that had been among his talents, I'm sure it would have been mentioned,
So either his voice was ordinary, or no one paid attention.

So after the last supper, when they were in the upper room,
James and John asked Jesus to sit in the center, I assume,
So one could sing in his left ear, and one could sing in his right,
And maybe they could help him to stay on pitch, and the hymn would sound all right.

When it's time to make a joyful noise, that's not the time to critique your voice.
A hundred people will tell you that you're singing it wrong,
But just ignore them, or invite them to sing along.

You can talk about your three tenors, and forget everything I've said,
But I'll know that I'm in heaven when the three tenors are Jesus, me, and Fred.